post Category: drowning in faith,my book — mylifeasannie @ 10:49 am — post Comments (16)

I’ve come to realize that doctors are not trained to give hope.  They are not trained to give parents pep talks about not giving up.  It’s “the facts and only the facts,” they like to give.  These facts are based on their years of education and what the medical journals tell them about statistics regarding a illness or injury.  I understand that.  Now.  The day that the middle eastern doctor laid the facts at my feet I did not understand.  I understood the words, just not how this could be my life.  I tried to mentally click my heels repeating “there’s no place like home.”  It didn’t work.  I stood in the sterile private room with Matt and listened with tears welling in my eyes faster than I had the ability to blink them away.  I felt as if I had been riding the tornado ride at the fair for the past few days and finally the bottom had dropped out. But instead of sticking to that wall I fell.  I fell hard.  The comforting crowd of friends and family became too much to face.  I found myself sitting in the hospital chapel, looking for a sign.  Praying for an answer.  The bible on the pew has marked pages so I follow the markings and read in John 14. “If you ask anything in my name you will receive.”  It clicked in my mind and in my heart.  If I believe I will receive.  It seemed so easy.  The God I knew for my entire life was a God that lived in a pretty little box, tied with a beautiful bow.  He was put in a drawer during the week, pulled out for a plea… pulled out on Sundays and most Wednesdays.  My God was not a God that I knew personally and certainly not a God who moved in the current ages.  I learned from an early age that God stopped interacting with humans when the Apostles died.  He sits on His throne in Heaven and looks down watching but not acting.  Letting life take it’s course.  Reading this verse for the first time with my heart I knew that my God was much bigger than the God I had known and I knew that I needed to know Him and believe.As those words grew in my heart the enemy quickly arrived to dispel any hope.  The enemy is a crafty creature who will use the people you trust more than anyone else to discourage you.  This was true in my situation.  I spoke those words aloud to a spiritual mentor. Boldly.  This person quickly explained away why this wasn’t true.  He reminded me why I had never believed this way.  My spirit fell.  But God is faithful and sent an angel in the form of a little faith speaking catholic woman who had walked in my shoes just a year ago.  She spoke words of faith and the final evidence of God’s power was the proof.  Little Clayton came running around the corner asking for a “dr. coke.”  This little guy had been in worse shape than my baby just one short year ago.  Tubes in his crytalized lungs.  Night after night of touch and go.  His mother stood vigil beside his PICU bed for those months.  She never spoke a negative word and never believed that he would be anything less than he was now.  She stood firm in her faith.   Anytime I felt a twinge of fear or doubt I could remember seeing little Clayton, and know that it was possible.  With God.

(I have been thinking about a way to start the book I have always planned to write… what do you think?)…

(thanks for the encouraging words.  I know there are grammatical issues… I actually wrote this page in just a few minutes.  I have written several more pages and I’m excited about getting it started!)

Horaayy..there are 16 comment(s) for me so far ;)

#1

We know!!!! HE is alive and well and upon the throne EVER making intercession for you, and for me. We may not “see” it yet, Annie…..but Faith is believing in what has not yet been seen. I know that you know that. I’m just reminding us all, myself included.
((hugs)) my dear sweet friend,
Susan

Susan’s last blog post..MORE ABOUT HONEY BEES

Susan wrote on September 25, 2008 - 11:11 am
#2

Shall we call you, “Annie, the Author”? Great job–and great faith, too!

JennaG wrote on September 25, 2008 - 12:29 pm
#3

You do that, Annie. You need to do it and many people need to read about Izzy, your journey of pain and hope. God bless you as you embark on this journey. Believe!

Irene’s last blog post..Thankful Thursday-I am here

Irene wrote on September 25, 2008 - 12:51 pm
#4

I say that’s a great page to start out with!! I will for sure buy this book!!
Many hugs!

Jodi’s last blog post..Busy, busy, busy

Jodi wrote on September 25, 2008 - 12:57 pm
#5

I think this is a wonderful start, Annie. Only one page and already, I’m mesmerized.

Barb @ A Chelsea Morning’s last blog post..He says…she says…blah, blah, blah

Barb @ A Chelsea Morning wrote on September 25, 2008 - 4:05 pm
#6

wonderful! I love it! Keep writing! I can read your heart in this one.

Julie’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen~Places To Visit In My Lifetime

Julie wrote on September 25, 2008 - 4:39 pm
#7

Good job Annie!
I think they say write what you know about, and who knows your story better than you!

Gail’s last blog post..“Everything old is New again…”

Gail wrote on September 25, 2008 - 5:41 pm
#8

Wow, very powerful, Annie!

Susanne wrote on September 25, 2008 - 8:36 pm
#9

It’s wonderful Annie, I have so been there so it really touches home. This is good. Big hugs and I look forward to reading more. I’m praying for you and your family. I wanted to thank-you for being so faithful to me.

(This is a new blog I started in August to help me deal with the infertility that I am experiencing right now. I didn’t feel a release to blog it on Jenileigh’s Journey because so many family and community members read about my life and I needed some privacy.)

Much love my friend.

Jenileigh’s last blog post..Late Thursday Night

Jenileigh wrote on September 25, 2008 - 11:14 pm
#10

Great job Annie! I’ve thought often about writing a book too. In fact my Mom and I talked about co-authoring a book about the importance of ministry in the home. I hope and pray that one day I will sit down and begin. Thank you for being my inspiration!

May God richly bless you as you continue to bless others,
Suzi

Suzi Searles’s last blog post..Some days are just easier than others!

Suzi Searles wrote on September 26, 2008 - 1:27 am
#11

It drew me in immediately! I would want to have your book for sure. Your faith is so strong, and you could truly inspire many people. 🙂

nancy face’s last blog post..Yay for Blog Friends!

nancy face wrote on September 26, 2008 - 7:43 am
#12

I think it is a wonderful 1st page Annie.. I was hooked at the start and wanted to read more.

KC’s last blog post..Faith_Lift Friday(God is so Good)

KC wrote on September 26, 2008 - 11:46 am
#13

If anybody has a story the tell that is worth hearing – on SO many levels! – it’s you,
Annie. Wonderful beginning – wonderful message already.

Kari

Kari’s last blog post..I’M SICK OF PARTISAN POLITICS!!!!!!

Kari wrote on September 27, 2008 - 7:43 pm
#14

What an excellent start Annie. I agree with others–1 page and I am already hooked. What a blessing your book will be —-for others and for you.
*smiles*
Kim

Kim’s last blog post..‘Cause the boys gotta eat!

Kim wrote on September 28, 2008 - 10:56 pm
#15

I’ll tell you what – this made me want to read more! I think that is a great way to start a book and capture the reader. As long as you have your faith in God you’ll have hope.

Michelle’s last blog post..Grains of Gratitude

Michelle wrote on September 30, 2008 - 3:52 pm
#16

Just back from Memphis and Atlanta to visit kids and grandkids.

You MUST write your book. It will be a testimony of your faith walk with Izzy and fighting against all odds.

Go for it!

Love, Betty G.

Betty wrote on October 2, 2008 - 1:51 pm
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