tuesday
This morning I met with Camilla, Izzy’s P.T. at school, to look at a lightweight stroller that a rep brought in for another child in the school. Because Camilla knew that Izzy is outgrowing her lightweight stroller and that her newest chair is too heavy to get in and out of the car she invited me to come and see this stroller. I think it is a good stroller and hope that we can get it for Isabelle.
From there I went to Emelia’s school for her award’s assembly. I walked in the school through the gym where the awards are usually given out. They were finishing up kindergarten graduation. My niece was there with her son who was graduating from kindergarten along with other familiar faces. I found Emelia’s class in the media center just beginning to receive awards. When her class stood at the end of the ceremony she quickly found me and looked content that I was there. I am not nearly as involved in her school life as I was with Amanda and Bailey. I was always the home room mom, always there. With Isabelle I just am not. there. But I do try to make it for special things like this.
As I was running errands this afternoon after dropping Izzy off at school I kept thinking about the kindergarten graduation. I couldn’t help but feel sad, knowing that had things been different, Izzy would be there graduating from kindergarten. Instead I was investigating stroller options. I mentioned that the four year mark came and went last week and really those dates don’t affect me that much. It is more the things like today that are hard to shake off. Little things can also be difficult like seeing a mother with a little girl about that age. Seeing what she should be. What she would be.
Again I swallow hard and keep going. Keeping my faith. Knowing it will all work out. Trusting God.